MEMBER RESOURCES

In this tape the view is introduced to Jane, Gary and Kent, the family who will work with Satir throughout the series. The viewer sees Satir in action and can clearly observe her style. Satir arranges the physical construction of the family in various ways as she addresses different issues. She often touches the individual with whom she is working and uses movement and closeness as a means to help the client relax and form some sort of trusting relationship. Sati’ s style is directed, intense and aggressive. There is a lot of talking, little silence, and a bit of humor which seems to help everyone in the group, Satir validates each person’s feelings and their right to be heard. She asks them what it is that they want to change, rather than imposing her own ideas onto the family.

Kent, the teenage son, has recently been reluctant to go to school and this has been a cause of concern to his parents. Initial discussion is focused on the existing parent-child conflict. The focus then shifts from the parent-child relationship to the husband-wife relationship. Virginia helps the family talk through their thoughts and feelings toward each other and encourages them to discover the options they have when they find themselves in a family conflict situation.

In this video we are introduced to the concept of a family reconstruction. This is an exercise in which a person chooses actual people from a group to represent family members and then works through certain issues in an attempt to identify the parts of ourselves that we inheritfrom our families. Biological family members are never used because this is the individual’s perception of his or her family and it must remain as such through the process. Satir talks about our past and our memories as children. Some of the memories may be negative and some may be positive. She encourages her clients to put the past into a realm of understanding, rather than that of blame, and to replace the pain and anger with understanding which can lead to growth and a sense of relief. Satir states that the problems identified in families are often not the problem, as much as the way in which the family chooses to cope with it is. How an individual copes with a problem is often evidence of that person’s feelings of self-worth.

Many of the ideas presented in this video reflect Satir’s approach to working with people. She gives the viewer the sense that she believes in her approach and that it is almost second nature to her. Her sincerity and deep respect for the “personhood” of each individual really shows through. Satir summarizes family reconstruction as learning to view ourselves, learning to view others, and learning how others view us. Another point made in this tape is that our learning doesn’t reflect our worth, but it does reflect where people are around us. It is important to see beyond people’s roles to their “peopleness”. This tape concludes by describing how a reconstruction takes place. Satir demonstrates taking a family history, picking out your “cast of characters”, and emphasizes that a reconstruction can shed new light on experiences.

This tape shows us how family mapping is done. Satir draws pictures of families to illustrate how families fit together. An important corollary to family mapping is identifying significant historical features surrounding various key dates in a family’s lineage. This allows for a great deal of insight into human behavior at those key times. One phrase that explains the significance of family mapping is that “the familiar is more powerful than the comfortable”. If we want to change, we need to be able to see clearly and understand our past, and we need to realize that WE CAN CHANGE.

In this tape we see Gary actually reconstruct his family by using volunteers from the audience. Parents, grandparents and siblings are chosen and given an attribute by Gary. These attributes represent the gifts our families have given us throughout generations. This exercise proposes to us that we have the choice to accept these attributes or to reject them if they no longer fit into our lives. Gary interacts with each family member and gets the opportunity to express long overdue feelings toward particular members. One can sense Gary letting go of his deep feelings of pain and gathering strength and relief from this exercise. One can even observe Gary’s body language change and relax as he moves from person to person. Gary identifies pain from never keeling love from the men in this past and now takes the opportunity to break that pattern as he verbally and physically expresses his love for his son, Kent.

In this tape, Satir theorized that every family has its “black sheep”. Theses black sheep are usually thought of in negative terms, but she quickly pointed out that black sheep have a purpose. They give families a focus and keep families energized. Black sheep provides a common point of concern from where activity generates.

This video presents the reconstruction of Jane’s family. Throughout the previous tapes, Jane can be observed as a person who is guarded and self-protecting. One gets the sense that Satir has intentionally let Jane observe her husband’s reconstruction before doing hers in an attempt to soften some of Jane’s defenses. Not only the family members, but historic events of the times are noted by Satir as she goes through the reconstruction. One issue that seems to come up for Jane frequently is her inability or unwillingness to express her feelings in this exercise and one can sense the relief that comes with this. Satir remains very close to Jane during this session and frequently holds her hands or massages them, passing on her own strength to Jane as she struggles with emotions that have been buried for a long time. Jan’s reconstruction is very different from her husband’s in that it is less emotional on the surface. The viewer has not way of knowing how deeply this exercise has affected Jane, yet you can observe a sense of peace from her, as well as some exhaustion.

This tape begins with Kent being physically restricted from using his senses. This symbolizes how our society often labels people who cause little disruption as being “good”. Satir states that rules are held and imposed by the family and that when a person has support, curiosity and trust, he and she can take risks and breakout of taught restraints. When people become “whole” and in touch with all of their parts, then they can find and honor their own resources. Kent is asked to identify six prominent figures in his life and to give an adjective to each name. These figures represent Kent’s parts and as people act out these figures and their gestures, Kent is able to identify the many different parts of who he is as a whole person. Satir conducts a ritual by which Kent accepts the existence of his different parts. The wholeness he now feels and expresses exudes a sense of harmony and an acknowledgement of the wealth of his inner resources. In this tape, the parts party is presented as a beneficial and constructive way people who are “bound-up” emotionally can liberate, and learn to accept, all the different parts of themselves.

Satir emphasizes that it is the therapist’s job to help people put the wish, the awareness, and the resources together to free themselves. The therapist helps facilitate the process but the person has to loosen the bonds. Satir explains that she helps search for the “w”. Persons who are bound have a hole in their completeness, and her purpose is to restore the whole person represented by the “w”. Many 20th century persons equate “goodness” with cutting off or binding many of their resources. Satir believes resources should never be cut off, but should be redirected and channeled to more useful purposes. Before a person can accomplish these tasks, he or she must be willing to free his or herself. Satir again used Kent to illustrate this point. He freed one limb and used the free limb to go on arid free the others. When one is willing, and can free one inner resource, that resource can be used to help free others.

In this tape, parts of Gary and of Jane are introduced and interact with one another. The viewer sees what parts compliment each other and what parts obviously contrast. Jane and Gary are able to express their feelings to one another about this. Satir pushes the couple to identify figures which symbolize their sexuality and discusses with them how this part of a relationship needs time to grow and mature. Jane and Gary both gain insight about the different parts which surface when they interact. The couple’s parts party follows the same basic format at Kent’s. Jane and Gary select six individuals who represent their personifications of beauty or goodness, and horribleness or evil. They then ask other participants to portray these characters or “parts”. Jane’s parts include Mme. Curie, God, her grandmother Lucy, Thoreau, Einstein, and Helen Keller. Satir added Jane Fonda. Gary’s parts are Hitler, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, Erich Fromm, and Edward Teller. Satir added Marlon Brando. This tape makes the complexities of relationship real. The depth and emotional connections of these two people are revealed. So much of Satir’ s work is based on common sense and yet it is profound. Professionally and personally, the parts party is a good exercise to remember when working with or considering long term relationships.

In this tape we see Jane identify and accept the different parts of herself. Satir states that we are the owners of our parts and can manager how they operate. Harmony can occur when parts of ourselves compromise and link with other parts. When different parts initiate a need, all the parts can the move together. Jane accepts her parts in the ritual previously mentioned and allows her “nervy” character to be accepted as her feminine and sexual part. One can observe satisfaction from Jane as she does this ritual. She is obviously letting go of fears that she has held on to for a long time.

Gary goes through the ritual of accepting all of his parts into his being. Gary turns and looks at each part of himself face to face and incorporates the reality into his self-perception. The laying on of hands symbolizes the energy of each part going into Gary’s body and existing there in wholeness. One senses from Gary’s joy and relief and that he feels complete. Satir ends this session with a meditation exercise in which she has the family and the audience participate.